Change

you can change a lot of things. You can change your clothes, Your attitude. Babies diapers. You get the picture. Life is full of change, everyone knows that and there's good change and bad change and all different types of in-between change.

One good change that's happened for me is I'm going to hold off doing Arrowsmith for a year and do year 12 which is something I really wanted to do. I'm going to make friends. REAL friends. Who don't forget to invite me to their birthday parties or accidently on purpose save all the seats on the bench so I have to sit on the floor,  I might even have a birthday party that people will actually come too!

So we have to move so I can go to a good high school for my last year. That's an in-between change.

A bad change is that the last Friday before my big year 11 exams started my cat got hit by a car. Most of you don't know but my cat Maple was one of my best, and well I suppose one of my only friends. I love cats. like really love them. I got Maple for my birthday last year and he was so nice.

His full name was his royal Fluffiness sir John Maple the first, when I got him he was a girl but he turned into a boy. I didn't mind, he was soft and cuddly and he always purred when you rubbed his favourite spot under his chin.

He always knew when I needed a hug or a huge furry cat to sit on my chest and purr. He was a big softie but some people thought he was evil because he used to be a stray. He wanted really badly to fit in my shoe shelf but he was too big.

And then one day he didn't come home. And he wasn't around the next day either. And then me and my sister found his body on the side of the road. Someone had spray painted his face blue. Mum and my stepdad came home from work and we buried him. I didn't go to school that day but none of my supposed friends asked me where I had been the following Monday.

I love you Maple and I hope they have the kind of food you like in cat heaven. RIP.

 

Absent

so guys I know I've been neglecting my blog this year, not a lot of posting action going on so I figured I better give everybody an update on how things are going.

Things are going ok, they are starting an Arrowsmith school in Brisbane that I might get to go to next year. I'm pretty excited because I bet i'll make a great assistant librarian when i'm done and I know my lefts and rights and how to organise things and all the stuff I don't know now.

I mean it might not fix everything and if I do it I might not be able to do year 12 which makes me a bit sad because I really wanted to graduate it would be a big IN YOUR FACE to all the kids who have been mean to me and it would just prove to some people that i'm smart and I can do some things.

Some of my friends and I have talked for many, many lunchtimes about what we will do after we graduate. Some things I know for certain I will do like going down to the beach with my year 12 maths book and burning it... along with some of the maths books from previous years.


I want to travel... not alone maybe with my mum and see all my friends who are in different parts of the country and then i'm going to work as an assistant librarian and publish my first novel when its finished.

I really hope I can go to the Arrowsmith school AND graduate high school cause that would be really cool.

i was right

i was right year 11 is tough, tough as nails, but i am too. For awhile i lost my passion for writing, my fanfictions. the original story i've been working on and this blog all suffered but i think i'm back now.

I thought as i do every year that this would be the year things would get easier not in terms of school work because that can only ever get harder, but maybe my social life might pick up i might go to a few parties have a few friends over have a birthday party maybe? i should know by now that i shouldn't raise my hopes up to high. But i can't help it.

Evidently things are going along how they always have. i've got 'friends' who are nice and friendly. They let me sit with them but they don't invite me to the movies when they are all going together. They don't invite me to parties and i'd bet all the money i have [ not very much] that if i did have a birthday party none of them would turn up.

It bothers me a bit that they all study together and hang out and do the things other teens do. But i don't have anyone to do that stuff with, not one person.

Before this year i didn't know it was possible to be surrounded by people and still be lonely. But it is.

year 11

i'm in year 11 this year thats a bit scary only two more years and i won't be in school anymore! sometimes i feel like my brain lets me down i just want to write a couple of pages of fanfiction in my notebook that is readable so i can show my mum but then my hands get all wobbly so half the words are fine and the other half is horrible and then i know i can't show mum.

At least i'll have a laptop this year for english so it'll be easier to do assingments still i know its gonna be tough.