year 11

i'm in year 11 this year thats a bit scary only two more years and i won't be in school anymore! sometimes i feel like my brain lets me down i just want to write a couple of pages of fanfiction in my notebook that is readable so i can show my mum but then my hands get all wobbly so half the words are fine and the other half is horrible and then i know i can't show mum.

At least i'll have a laptop this year for english so it'll be easier to do assingments still i know its gonna be tough.

tough

i've been a bit slack with my blog for ages and i'm sorry but things have been tough and i have been struggling to keep up. My teachers are putting alot of pressure on everyone this term because our grades affect what courses we can choose in year 11.

i don't handle pressure very well it makes me stressed had a sore stomach for a few days doctor put it down to stress. Still mums been great helping me with my homework and assingments and trying to see if i can get put in a easy maths class next year. Plus she picked me up when my stomach was really sore probably because we were going to write a 6 paragraph essay in 1 hour by hand in the next class, which is no easy feat for someone with low frustration tolerance and slow messy handwriting.

Mum explained to my sisters about my NLD i don't know how much they understand but at least she tried, friends well they are there but are displaying signs they don't really want to be. Or i think they are it could be me being paranoid.


Can't wait for next year easy maths library tech at TAFE and maybe some more help from my teachers !.

 

warriors

i am the number one fan of a series of books called warriors by erin hunter which is about a group of cats who fight for survival in a forest in groups called clans and it is AWSOME! i am suggesting anyone who has kids aged maybe nine to fifteen should get them to read it especially if they love animals there are four main series not including the mangas super editions and guides.

The one thing i cannot stand is someone who thinks they know more about warriors then me and whos info is wrong anyway! i am happy to answer any questions concerning warriors so just comment if your curious and want to know more!

feeling lopsided

hmm.. lately i have been feeling a bit like i lean to the right when i walk not sure if its NLD related or not is weakness in the left side of the body common with NLD? i guess it could explain why i mix up my marching at cadets so much but i don't know.. my birthdays next month i can't wait im so excited even if it is just after school goes back the holidays are in two weeks!!!

no school! and more importantly my reports coming actually that may not be a good thing particulary where maths is involved but still.. i went on art camp and brought two new books already read the first one even though i swear i didn't start reading it right after i brought it because my mum told me not to do that because then i finish it before i leave the store..

stress

i realised something today, i can relax with a book or at home but around my friends i don't know how to relax i stress out trying to remember not to talk to much and not to just sit and read but to pay attention and contribute to the conversation even though i don't want too. i need to have friends i need to be social, But i just want to go find a bench with no one on it and read and hide from all the girls talking about makeup and movies and boys.

i feel like theres a jigsaw puzzle and its all complete and i'm the leftover peice trying to fit into a puzzle where i can't fit.

exams

i don't want to go back to school after the holidays cause i know we are having year ten exams next term and i know that even if i do study there will be something that i don't know how to do off by heart and then i'll get stuck and skip the question and then i won't get as many marks and if that happens with every couple of questions i won't get enough marks to pass...

i have more friends now but i dunno if we'll ever be best friends i know the works going to get harder and i know i'm barely passing all my classes as it is and i dread getting my report at the end of next term cause i know it'll have all Cs or maybe a few Ds on it and then i'll get in trouble

damn geniuses

my mother has made sure after a lot of nagging the school that i was put in the maths class with the least bullies/ distracting people this also happens to be the top maths class! most of the kids in there do year 11 maths with ease and if they were all 16 would probably be in year 11! so therefore my maths teacher teaches things veyr fast without putting the steps in an easy to undertand way then he writes a complicated algerbra sum on the board and says " this is very basic stuff guys" which if you ask me it is not!.
So tomorrow we have this math test and the teacher says " class if you get less then 70 percent i will phone your parents and you will stay afterschool every day this week er for me to fix this"

I have as luck would have it had this teacher for THREE years he knows me, He knows how i normally do in maths test generally just passing and yet he makes no consideration on how hard it will be for me to get this 70 percent or above mark.

Mother says its cause he has to teach the ' majority' of the class and can't focus on individuals but i think because HE is a maths genius he does not think it is hard to get 70 percent i do go to tutoring on tuesday arvos but that can only lift my grade so much!

so i have come to accept the fact that i will be spending after school on the last week of the term sitting in the maths room getting confused by my maths teacher and mother will probably lecture me after she gets the phone call about failing even though above 50 is a pass.

I always leave his class feeling more confused about maths the i was when i went in and sometimes i leave on the verge of tears because i don't understand anything hes talking about and everyone else does! it would be almost worth the bullying to be put down a class so i hope i am!