stress

i realised something today, i can relax with a book or at home but around my friends i don't know how to relax i stress out trying to remember not to talk to much and not to just sit and read but to pay attention and contribute to the conversation even though i don't want too. i need to have friends i need to be social, But i just want to go find a bench with no one on it and read and hide from all the girls talking about makeup and movies and boys.

i feel like theres a jigsaw puzzle and its all complete and i'm the leftover peice trying to fit into a puzzle where i can't fit.