warriors

i am the number one fan of a series of books called warriors by erin hunter which is about a group of cats who fight for survival in a forest in groups called clans and it is AWSOME! i am suggesting anyone who has kids aged maybe nine to fifteen should get them to read it especially if they love animals there are four main series not including the mangas super editions and guides.

The one thing i cannot stand is someone who thinks they know more about warriors then me and whos info is wrong anyway! i am happy to answer any questions concerning warriors so just comment if your curious and want to know more!

feeling lopsided

hmm.. lately i have been feeling a bit like i lean to the right when i walk not sure if its NLD related or not is weakness in the left side of the body common with NLD? i guess it could explain why i mix up my marching at cadets so much but i don't know.. my birthdays next month i can't wait im so excited even if it is just after school goes back the holidays are in two weeks!!!

no school! and more importantly my reports coming actually that may not be a good thing particulary where maths is involved but still.. i went on art camp and brought two new books already read the first one even though i swear i didn't start reading it right after i brought it because my mum told me not to do that because then i finish it before i leave the store..

stress

i realised something today, i can relax with a book or at home but around my friends i don't know how to relax i stress out trying to remember not to talk to much and not to just sit and read but to pay attention and contribute to the conversation even though i don't want too. i need to have friends i need to be social, But i just want to go find a bench with no one on it and read and hide from all the girls talking about makeup and movies and boys.

i feel like theres a jigsaw puzzle and its all complete and i'm the leftover peice trying to fit into a puzzle where i can't fit.

exams

i don't want to go back to school after the holidays cause i know we are having year ten exams next term and i know that even if i do study there will be something that i don't know how to do off by heart and then i'll get stuck and skip the question and then i won't get as many marks and if that happens with every couple of questions i won't get enough marks to pass...

i have more friends now but i dunno if we'll ever be best friends i know the works going to get harder and i know i'm barely passing all my classes as it is and i dread getting my report at the end of next term cause i know it'll have all Cs or maybe a few Ds on it and then i'll get in trouble

damn geniuses

my mother has made sure after a lot of nagging the school that i was put in the maths class with the least bullies/ distracting people this also happens to be the top maths class! most of the kids in there do year 11 maths with ease and if they were all 16 would probably be in year 11! so therefore my maths teacher teaches things veyr fast without putting the steps in an easy to undertand way then he writes a complicated algerbra sum on the board and says " this is very basic stuff guys" which if you ask me it is not!.
So tomorrow we have this math test and the teacher says " class if you get less then 70 percent i will phone your parents and you will stay afterschool every day this week er for me to fix this"

I have as luck would have it had this teacher for THREE years he knows me, He knows how i normally do in maths test generally just passing and yet he makes no consideration on how hard it will be for me to get this 70 percent or above mark.

Mother says its cause he has to teach the ' majority' of the class and can't focus on individuals but i think because HE is a maths genius he does not think it is hard to get 70 percent i do go to tutoring on tuesday arvos but that can only lift my grade so much!

so i have come to accept the fact that i will be spending after school on the last week of the term sitting in the maths room getting confused by my maths teacher and mother will probably lecture me after she gets the phone call about failing even though above 50 is a pass.

I always leave his class feeling more confused about maths the i was when i went in and sometimes i leave on the verge of tears because i don't understand anything hes talking about and everyone else does! it would be almost worth the bullying to be put down a class so i hope i am!

on the right road.. i think

hello everyone!
sorry for the infrequent blog update but life is very busy at the moment i now go to maths tutoring once a week i think this is a good thing as my teacher has given me no indications that i am failing which is good becuase i don't mind what my grade is as long as its not a D or an E although my parents like most would prefer if i would aim for an A but i have a feeling i'm going to be just scraping a B for most of my subjects.

My fanfiction reading is going well i am so glad they have like 1000 stories on the harry potter fanfic site else i'd be out of things to read :] and i am re reading Twilight because it is awsome! and i made a new group of friends that are lots of fun! Although of course i keep hanging with my old friend too.

frustrateted

frustrated at my teachers for not understanding
frustrated at my friends for not even trying to understand
frustrated at myself for not being as good as everyone else
and not being a social success like the other girls
frustrated at my work for not making any sense to me or anyone else
frustrated cause i can't seem to do anything right
and its not fair
frustrated cause no one gives a damn
frustrated is my middle name