frustrateted

frustrated at my teachers for not understanding
frustrated at my friends for not even trying to understand
frustrated at myself for not being as good as everyone else
and not being a social success like the other girls
frustrated at my work for not making any sense to me or anyone else
frustrated cause i can't seem to do anything right
and its not fair
frustrated cause no one gives a damn
frustrated is my middle name

books

 yay! my english teacher told us that this term we will be reading a novel which is good cause preferably i would like school to be just sitting in the library reading and thats it! also my maths teacher is sick which equals no homework so i dont have to sit and stare at the page wondering how come my maths teacher said this is easy and that we have done it before when its super hard and i don't remember doing it before! i guess that what you get when your in the top class still you'd think he would check that everyone HAD done it before he gave out the homework oh well my mum helps me through it so its ok!

last nights dinner was the best we had Tacos nothing special but i was starving and had four and they were so yummy, opps there i go letting everything i think come out my mouth i'm supposed to be working on that but i haven't got the hang of sorting through my thoughts finding one relevent to what everyone else is talking about and then making it appropriate and then saying it! oh well i will get there one day!

swimming

i do swim club twice a week at the pool it is a good sport for me too do because unless i am competeing i don't have to race against anyone and since i don't like group work or team sports it is good as it is largely individual AND [ i consider this the best thing] even if we are racing they don't use a starting gun or anything that is particulary loud and startling thye just use this beeper thing it scared me a bit the first time i heard it but i am used to it now i am also getting better at diving off the diving block which i used to be uncomftable with though i am not sure why

schools back

schools back in and i am exhausted last monday i had vertigo cause i was so tired and almost fell down the stairs at cadets needless to say i fully deserved the massive lie in i had this morning and the hot bath i will be having tonight swim club and dance have made my legs and shoukders sore and i feel like a old woman but at least i get to see my friends i got into the top class and i like it cause i have the same maths teacher even if the homework is super hard

oh my gosh

i have been a horrible blogger keeping ou all waiting so long i have been on holiday and have had no desire to write but now i am back and better then ever os i will tell you whats been going on with me while i was away
i got three books for chrismas
i got a kmart voucher and bought for more
and got two as presents so now i have nine new books!!!
i am going into year ten this year OMG three years left of school scary!
and i hope to make some more friends with any new kids that come to my school { hopefully! keeping my fingers crossed!}
and i heard my mother say when we were at the shops and i was tucking in to my chinese that i get grumpy when i am hungry i don't think so but if mother says it then it must be true!

give me a break

whenever things look ok something happens and then its back to where i started, at the start of last week i was happy my friends and i were all getting along well laughing and gossiping and doing normal teenage stuff but as the week proggressed i noticed that they were starting to reject me putting their bags up as i approached so  i couldn't sit with them and staring at me and whispering they thought i didn't notice but i did and i knew what was going to happen so i tried to enjoy what i knew was limited time laughing with my friends then wensday lunch time the uneventful happened one of my best friends in the group walked up to me and told me that her and the others did not want me to sit with them anymore i was a bit disappointed but not surprised. i smiled and told my friend that was ok and i'd see her later now everytime i walk past where they sit i remember the times laughing and gossiping and wish with all my heart that i could go back and sit with them and laugh but i know if i did they wouldn't be so nice and would outright tell me to leave.

i still have one good friend with me but its not the same i know its a year nine thing so i am sorta hoping next year they will invite me back as unlikely as it is... can't life just give me a break?

fanfiction

i am so sorry for not updating in forever but i have discovered something wonderful fanfiction it is so cool and i have been reading on the computer and my DS non-stop i cant get enough in a few weeks i am going to a big city where i can go book shopping i cant wait! especially since Inheritence will be out by then